A spouse.
A child.
A sibling.
A friend.
In these moments, I encourage families to respond.
Even if the person doesn’t respond verbally, hearing is believed to be one of the last senses to go.
Your presence matters.
Your touch matters.
Your voice matters.
What They Might Be Reaching For
After years of reflection, I’ve come to believe the reaching isn’t about what they see.
It’s about connection.
At the end of life, people seem to let go of everything superficial.
Status disappears.
Regret softens.
Fear quiets.
Love.
Memory.
Belonging.
Maybe they’re reaching for people they loved.
Maybe they’re reaching for peace.
Maybe they’re reaching for something we don’t yet understand.
Or maybe they’re simply reaching for what comes next.
Why This Matters for the Living
Understanding this moment changes how we view death.
It reminds us that dying is not just a medical event—it’s a human one.
It’s not just about the body failing—it’s about a life concluding.
For families, knowing this can bring comfort.
For caregivers, it brings humility.
For all of us, it offers a quiet lesson.
We reach for connection.
What I Want People to Know
If you ever sit beside someone who is dying and you see this movement—don’t panic.
Don’t pull their hand back unless they seem distressed.
Don’t assume something is wrong.
Just be there.
Speak softly.
Hold their hand if they allow it.
Let the moment be what it is.
You are witnessing something sacred.
The Last Thing I’ve Learned
After all these years, death has taught me something unexpected.
It has taught me how to live.
Knowing that, in the end, we reach for love makes everything clearer.
It reminds me to say what matters now.
To hold hands longer.
To show up more fully.
To forgive more easily.
Because when our time comes, we won’t be reaching for things.
We’ll be reaching for people.
And that may be the most human move of all.
