During My Twins’ Memorial, My Mother-in-Law Blamed Me—Then My Four-Year-Old Asked the Pastor if She Should Reveal What Grandma Put in the Bottles The church felt impossibly small for a loss this overwhelming.

And I learned that truth spoken with kindness — even by a four‑year‑old — can reveal what adults are too afraid to say.

To Anyone Reading This Who Is Carrying Loss

Grief does not make you weak. It makes you human.

If someone has blamed you for what you could not control — whether in loss, illness, or tragedy — know this:

Your pain is real. Your love is real. Your presence here — in a world that sometimes speaks harshly to the grieving — is a testament to your strength.

Grief does not have a timeline. It does not have rules. And it does not require you to justify your love or your loss to anyone.

May you find voices around you that heal rather than harm.

May you hold onto truth with tenderness.

And may your heart — even in its brokenness — find moments of grace that remind you of the love that sustains you.